A Day in the life of a key worker with a chronic illness.

I was woken by another ‘virus’ related dream (more like a nightmare to be honest). I struggled to settle back to sleep, so I went into the spare room, as not to disturb my partner. The next thing was my usual 5.15 alarm was going off! Feeling tired again and with another ‘thick’ head, I went down for my daily meds and supplements. I made my hot lemon, ginger and honey drink and did my morning stretch routine, plus stomach and back exercises to try to keep my core strong. These have really helped my back, since I found out that I had two prolapsed discs a couple of years ago, when my back ‘went’ out of the blue! I have always tried to keep reasonable fit, but doing my morning routine for the past couple of years, has really helped me to be able to do my present physical cleaning job.  
I washed, changed and ate a home made ‘power’ ball, did my teeth, put a decaf coffee in my flask and went out to defrost the car. I appreciated the clear sky, shining stars and hopeful moon. The fresh feel livened me up a little.

Several minutes later, I clocked on at 6am at a local supermarket. I put my name next to an emoji face on the staffs ‘mood’ board. Meh/worried. This had sadly been the same choice for a few days. I am usually happy with a ‘sunny’ disposition, but had been struggling for a few days now. With my recent ‘thick’ heads (like a hangover without the alcohol), plus my ‘tummy’ (colon actually because of my Ulcerative Colitis (UC)) playing up a bit and the current Covid19 pandemic. My mood was totally understandable.

The first hour cleaning the shop floor, entrance, public loo, kiosk, emptying outside bins and litter picking the car park, flew by. Easy with no customers to ‘avoid’. I found myself singing a duet with one of the bakers, to an upbeat tune on the in house radio station. I felt happy again. After cleaning some rooms out the back, I had to go on to the shop floor to clean the 52 chillers. I noticed how some of the people looked liked disjointed robots, doing a dance that most were not enjoying, by trying to stay 2 meters apart. A man and I let each other pass and exchanged a good morning and smile.  Simple but lovely. I carried on happily until a while later, when I was rudely disturbed by a woman coming straight up behind me, saying something muffled under her make shift mask. I took a few steps back and said ‘Excuse me?’. She shot forwards towards my face and said ‘Coffee?’. Boy she ‘ruffled my feathers’ with the way she had come so close! I politely pointed her toward the correct isle. I shot out the back, popped to the loo cursing and then had some coffee from my flask. All flustered, I relayed this to the baker and we exchanged a few similar incidents and ended up making each other laugh. Phew, so needed! I finished my work and grabbed some shopping on the way out of work after 9am. I was lucky to get nearly all the essential bits that I needed, apart from potatoes! The shelves had been sparse recently.

I popped by the local doctors surgery on my way home, to drop off a prescription request and was surprised at how different the exterior of the entrance looked, with the huge ‘HALT’ signs with masses of virus information on. It was clear the doors were locked.  I was surprised when a receptionist opened a window next to me and asked me to post my request through the letter box.

On getting home, I wiped down my shopping with anti-bacterial cleaner, then went back out to do the car and house door handles etc. I showered and changed. That felt better. Time to try and relax, so I sat down, had some yummy natural bio yoghurt with blueberries and cinnamon, plus a proper coffee. I was so glad I did not have to go to my second job (even though I love it). I work with adults with learning difficulties, in a workshop where we re-bind old donated books, into notebooks and diaries. I caught up with messages from Muddy Care’ friends on my phone and left my daily check in, on whether I had any Covid symptoms and how I was feeling too. We had done this since our weekly meet ups had been suspended.

Afterwards, I decided it might be a good idea to write my feelings down and that developed into this piece of writing. We were encouraged as children to write our feelings down, even if no one else saw them.  It is good to read it yourself, even if no one else does and destroy afterwards if wanted. The last time I had done this was after a huge UC flare 18 months ago, that put me in hospital twice within a week, for a total of nearly 3 weeks. I had some awful experiences, (as well as meeting a lot of lovely people), so wrote a lot down, destroying it after re-reading it a couple of months later.

I stuck a load of washing on, had a glass of water and did a bit of essential housework. For lunch I had mashed avocado with turmeric (as good for reducing inflammation), on seeded sourdough bread, (as that’s fermented it is supposed to be good for the gut). I was trying to help myself as usual. I read the local newspaper, which did not take long, as it had so little in it these days! No usual car or house sales, no ‘what’s on section’ and hardly any sports news. I hung the washing out (I LOVE being able to do this as it smells great afterwards) and decided to do a bit of gardening. So happy to spot the pair of Redstarts that were nesting in the same bird box on one side of the house as last year. Neither myself, nor my partner had ever seen one until then. I always felt so grateful for our garden and where we live backing onto fields in a little village. I thought about so many people who were in ‘lockdown’, without any outdoor space. That led to sadness and a few tears about all the people dying, being ill, people being separated from their families, suffering mental health issues etc etc etc. Then me missing family, even though I had travelled for a few hours to see them a few months ago, I desperately wanted to again. I thought about my dad who I missed so much since he suddenly died a few years before. Right....I  had to pick my mood up again.

The sun was shining, so I sat in my salvaged deck chair with a glass of water. I noticed an aeroplane trail and wondered who was in it and where they were going. I had not seen any for ages! I had been a sensible girl and put my factor 30 sun spray on, as due to be sunny. I mindfully looked around at all the beautiful plants and trees. I closed my eyes and listened to the various bird songs and chirps. My pampas grass was blowing in the breeze, reminding me of the waves at the seaside. Heaven. We had been so lucky with the lovely weather lately, a godsend for most people I am sure, with ‘the present situation. After allowing myself to relax and doze for a while, I heard a child's voice and realised they were on their ‘daily walk’. Recently, quite a few neighbours had put teddies in their windows, for the children to come and look out for on their daily walks. I had posted a clip from the news of someone else doing it, on our recently set up Community support Facebook page. I went around the front of the house to say hello and have a quick chat, obviously making sure we were well socially distanced. We are so lucky to have so many really lovely neighbours.

After gardening for a while again, I washed my hands and realised how sore and cracked they were. Not surprising with the various cleaning, disposable and gardening gloves, plus washing hands more than usual and using harsh alcohol gels! I got my super-duper hand cream and massaged it on liberally. I had a banana and water, then tidied away the gardening tools and took the dry washing down and put it all away. Great stuff, nothing to iron either! I went inside and text a close friend who was self-isolating, to see if she needed any shopping in the morning. We then spoke to each other and had a lovely, much needed natter. I watered all my pots and was lucky enough to spot a cute rabbit that had been around the estate recently. I’m an outdoor girl who adores nature and animals, always have.

I prepared our evening meal, (called tea where I grew up in Lancashire)… smoked mackerel, with steamed carrots, broccoli and new potatoes. Yummy. I then made my son and partner’s lunches for the next day. After eating, catching up with my ‘boys’ and washing up, I watched part of the news. Some days I could not watch it all, as it left me feeling dreadful, but I wanted to keep up to date. I went for another shower and put on my PJ’s. When I came back down, I popped outside to sit on our front bench for 5 minutes, to watch the couple of bats that live in our garage roof, flit around the house and garden. I never fail to get exited about this. I then watched a bit of telly with my partner. Luckily we like quite a few of the same sort of programmes! I text a few people about Saturn, Mars and Jupiter, that were due to be easily visible early in the morning. We had recently had the pleasure of seeing a ‘pink’ moon and a deep orange one. I trundled off to bed and read some short heart warming stories for about 10 minutes, from a book a friend had given me. I thought about the best bits of the day and gratefully started to drift off to sleep quickly, hoping for pleasant dreams.