Muddy Jukebox - February 2021
Ashes
By CEO Muddy Care
I have included the lyrics of this song below as I think they speak so clearly of how millions are feeling right now.
The UK reached the 100,000-death toll from COVID in January 2021…and in addition to that 100,000 who have died, are all those people who have survived but whose bodies are now broken in varying degrees, as are the families and loved ones of those we have lost.
As someone who has several serious chronic conditions, who has lost so much in the last decade and from someone who works with people who also have serious medical conditions who have also lost so much, I know first and second-hand the pain and the magnitude of loss that comes with illness and how the impacts interweave themselves into so many different parts of your life.
So many people have had enough. So many people are now in excruciating pain. So many people are lost. So many people are burnt out. So many people are feeling their lives fall apart. So many people are struggling. So many people are at breaking point. I ask this question…where do we go from here? We go to a place where it is absolutely okay to display our vulnerability. In fact, vulnerability is a sign of strength.
So many more people are starting their own journeys of bereavement, of acceptance, of adaptability, of healing, of managing loss of themselves as well as for others. For each individual the journey will be different.
I can offer little comfort but I can offer a few words of wisdom, of observations and experience. These have been obtained through my own journey (that is still very challenging), from those lovely ordinary, extraordinary people who are our Muddy participants, from all those amazing people I work with and talk to through Muddy Care who are at the frontline of helping the ill and people like myself move forwards, from all those inspirational people I have interviewed who also have chronic conditions and from my lovely medical team. Those few words are that love, kindness, care of one another and time helps us to manage our grief, our trauma and our pain better. It never leaves us, permanently. We can adapt though and the journey can be made easier.
Never have we needed each other so much, to lean on and to support one another. We need the love, care and kindness of a friend, of a colleague, of a pet, a family member, a stranger and if you are lucky enough, a partner to help us breathe, to help us take that next step forwards into uncertainty, into a world where some will just want to escape and run away from right now as it is too much to cope with. Now is a time when we must expose our vulnerabilities, when we must help pick others up from the floor, when we must prioritise the care of people, when we must support and lighten the loads of those struggling, when we must act as communities, when we must be the best version of ourselves, when we must watch over one another.
2021 is the year of us humans being braver, stronger, better people, of the human spirit appearing in its best and strongest form, of us taking the hands of those that are broken, that are lost and showing them the direction to recovery and helping them to heal and glue themselves together again.
Ashes
By Claire Guerreso
My mind is spun
I've had enough
Feels like I'm burning down the flames rise up
And I can't tell what's coming next
Feels life is like a game of roulette
The one that I need
Help me see beyond the surface
My purpose
You were my North-star
You were my always
You were my god bless
Now I turn sideways
Maybe you turn to ashes, ashes
When it all comes down
When it all comes down
A cold wind sets, upon my back
The sky is getting full and turning black
I lost my way
When I lost you
I need a moment more, this can't be true
The one that I need
Help me see beyond the surface
My purpose
You were my North-star
You were my always
You were my god bless
Now I turn sideways
Who do you turn too
What can you say
Ashes, ashes it all comes down
It all comes down
It all comes down
Ashes, ashes
Ashes, ashes
When it all comes down
When it all comes down
Who do you turn too
When it all comes down
When it all comes down
Ashes, ashes
Ashes, ashes